I wonder when will tears stop coming out whenever I think of him. Such beautiful memories but whenever I reminiscence back, I will always cry.

Future Plans With Someone Other Than Yourself?

I believe everyone must have made plans for themselves, hoping to achieve some childhood dreams, fulfilling wishes.

I have dreams too. My dream is huge. It's to make the world a better place to live in. Literally. That's why I studied Environmental Technology. To try to make make the world healthier so that we can still inhale fresh air 100 years from now. WOW. Okay. I know I am not that super.

Then I watched a talk show today. He says everyone is hoping to change the world. But it's okay if you don't. As long as you don't let the world to change you. It's so well said. We can't make the world change much, the world is evolving on it's own. We can follow up as long as we don't loose our own personality, our original stand. 

Okay okay. I am drifting too far from my topic. 

Making future plans with someone other than yourself?

Me and Fatty (Okay I used to dubbed him as Stickkie, but now he's Fatty) start making plans for future. I don't remember when exactly we start making plans. It's in our daily conversation. Like how our house wanna be, what color of my curtains, walls. And today we talk about having puppies. 

He want a pug, or bulldog. I want chow chow, husky, shiba inu or corgi. Lastly we both agreed on corgi. But chow chow is really really cute. 

How can you not love? 

But Fatty say it's too fluffy. Too much fur sweeping.

And then he talk about kids. He said the doggie will help looking after our kids. I actually haven't decide on having kids yet. Cos I have a messed up brain that have phobia of giving birth.

But I like kids. I basically love everything cute. Kids belongs to this category. My mom is a baby sitter so I grown up with lots of kid around me. They are awesome. Some are crybabies but most of them are so cute. And not to mention my favorite one. He is the sweetest boy on earth with the sweetest mouth that make my heart melts all the time. So I am not opposed to the idea of having kids. Just the giving birth part. Well it's okay. Maybe I will grow up one day. (I hope so).

It's so awesome to have someone to make plans with.

The no the worst. It's just going to get worse.

Hi alls.  In my previous post I said I wanna do some writing in November and December right?

Oh well. I am writing. But not some writing. 

Firstly, SV2 says I am to past up a journal manuscript to him by Christmas. It will be about my first objective. I am like, okay since it's part of my thesis. And he aims to submit it to Q1 journals (Atmospheric Environment *gasps*). Alright. I will try my best. 

Then. SV1 got a last minute invitation from a local conference. (I seriously hate these kind of last minute invitation, 害人不浅). He forward the notice to us and insisted that me and my friend each write a paper. FYI the date that he forwarded the email to us is 14 Dec. The due date for the paper is 31 Dec. *thunderstruck*

Today's date is 18 December. I have been working everyday for 15-18 hours a day since 15 November. Only took 2 days off when Fatty came visiting me two weeks ago. And I work everyday, which means weekdays included. 

I am so tired. I can't sleep well because my brain keep on processing things. How to explain this graph? Which way is better to explain the data? Which graph depicts the data more clearly? How to sort the fking data in the fastest way. 

I am so tired. And I missed home. 

Starting to Stress Out?

I just came back to Terengganu yesterday afternoon (after two weeks of paradise).

I unpacked and do most of the housework yesterday so that I can sleep late today. But surprisingly, I woke at 7.40am. Who woke before noon during weekends? 

I woke up and my brain ran full turbo in panicked and depression. Unfinished tasks pop-up one by one and I start freaking out. I am not sure whether I am on track or lost in mid-way with my research, with my PhD. I got a friend studying with me and he finished his chapter 1, 2 and 3 already. And he is like halfway finished. He attended 3 conferences, wrote 4 journal papers. 

Me, my Chapter 1, 2 and 3 are like quilts, only have woven. Attended one conference, wrote 2 paper (but only 1 accepted).

My excuse is "I GOT LABS TO RUN". 

I completed two different chemical analysis for my samples and now I planned to pause a while and write thesis and papers and analysis. I aim to spend me November and December doing all these. But November is half gone. I got seminars and poster presentations queing up. Can I finish them on-time?

Happy New Year to the Bangladeshi

A Bangladeshi friend just told me today is the first day of the new year for them and wished me Happy New Year.

The first thought I had after the well wishing is that how sad that so many of the workers have to stay overseas working and unable to reconcile with their family on this big day.

People are usually stereotypical. They saw these Bangladeshi or Pakistanis or any labourers, they will straightaway link them with crime. I have a perfect example. I got this university friend, not much of a friend, an acquaintance. We walked pass some construction workers in the university. Her reaction is dodge away and then she said "it's so dangerous to let them roam around the university compound freely, shouldn't they just stay in the construction area?"

Fuck you bitch, you thought you so pretty the man cant control himself and come rape you? Without them who will build your damn stadium and lecture rooms?

I really hate these people. Do you think they will come working here for you day and night non stop without holidays, far away from home, cannot meet their family, their parents, missing the most important part of their kid's life IF THEY HAVE A CHOICE. Do you know how many people depended on them for food?

Not everyone are born in privilege, can't learn the so atas English like you. Not because they don't want, it's just that they never had the chance.

Sorry I got carried away. So, if anyone chance upon my post today, please wish those hardworking breadwinner a happy New year.